Today I called my mom to warn her that I’m probably going to be arrested several times over the course of my life, and that she should be prepared for that.
I came to that realization today in my Criminal Law class when I was playing defense attorney and couldn’t come up with any plausible defenses of my client on BS charges for a “crime” that actually wasn’t a crime at all. Like, ya know, no one was injured whatsoever.
The dude was being charged for attempted murder for taking some other dude’s hair brush in preparation to put a voodoo death hex on him. Under the statute, that amounted to attempted murder.
I wanted to attempt murder on myself when some of my classmates voted to imprison him for 30 years. I’m not kidding.
I’m not kidding.
So, my last resort was to make an argument for nullification of this BS statute, to which my professor replied that the judge would most likely not allow me to make that defense, and that if I tried, he would have me arrested for contempt.
Apparently in this wonderful, beautiful, perfectly just, civilized country, if the government grants you permission to become an attorney, you are required to uphold every law, even when it’s unjust or immoral.
Laws qua laws = justice, morality, fairness, logic.
>hires counsel to defend on charges of violating a law
>counsel must uphold said law
Welp, looks like I’ll need a defense attorney of my own.
And this is exactly why you won’t find my ass in law school.
